I’m Marrying a Genius

He would disagree and tell you he is just another dumb kid, but don’t be fooled, Benjamin is by far one of the smartest people I have ever met.  The things he can figure out are amazing like how he created our ENTIRE wedding website from scratch.

But in all seriousness how does a (future) spouse legitimize her career when her (future) husband is going to save lives for a living?  This doesn’t just relate to me but to anyone out there that is in a similar position.  Many of the husband/wife combos I see in the medical field are defined by the husband as the physician and the wife as a stay-at-home mom.  There are of course exceptions and I am not oblivious to this fact. 

I fear that I will fall into the stay-at-home mom position although it is the farthest thing possible from what I want.  I dream of being the high powered business woman with a killer career and a position that I can really make an impact, not to mention amazing shoes to go with my power suits (Cashmere Mafia if you will.)  I want to be the girl version of my dad…he is needed all over the country to fix problems, schmoze other big wigs, and to talk with his employees.  While this would be absolutely wonderful and rewarding, I always wonder how one succeeds at doing it while at the same time providing a great family life.

I think about getting an MBA pretty much every day but I always stop short of thinking too hard about it because in all reality, how can I have a crazy career when my future husband will most likely be a surgeon?  I am a very realistic person and I tend to shy on the side of conservatism so how can I possibly justify spending a bazillion dollars on more schooling when I might not even use it?   Not to mention we already have plenty of loan debt looming over our heads.

I am not complaining by any means, I am simply pondering my future.  Benjamin is by far the most supportive person when it comes to my future career endeavors.  He actually went online and requested information from about 10 MBA programs without me really knowing.  Remember, this is the person who has chosen to go to school for life, a permastudent if you will.  My family on the other hand is of the opinion that given Benjamin’s chosen profession, I should consider staying at home to provide a great life for our future family.

My family’s opinion most likely stems from the fact that I was always in some sort of child care system until I was old enough to stay by myself.  Not to say day care was bad, but it wasn’t always the most fun.  I can remember times when I would just sob until my mom would come pick me up.  I can also remember wondering why my parents were always at work while my friends parents were home to take us shopping and to the movies and so forth. 

Both of my parents worked full time my whole life, until college, that’s when my mom quit her job.  It was great, I could call her anytime of day and she would be there to chat with me.  I think my mom realizes that she may have missed out on parts of my life and she doesn’t want that to happen to Ben and me.  On the flip side, I also respect her for working so long because our family wasn’t really in a position where she needed to.  She did it for herself and her own personal goals.  

I also saw what happened to my mom post-divorce.  She was out of the work force for about 6 years and was completely lost when it came time to get a job.  She has since started her own mini-business but it was a tough road and I would never want to be in that position.

I think this is the time in many people’s lives where they wonder where they are going…a quarter life crisis if you will.  We all want a great career, great family, great marriage, and most of all to be happy.  What steps should we take today to get what we want?  One thing I do know, I will fight with every ounce of me to make sure I have a great family and marriage.  Being the child of multiple divorced parents really makes you realize what is important to to fight for and what’s not.