A Quickie From the Trenches

The alarm went off at 4:07am this morning and somehow I was able to convince myself that it was a fluke and that I didn’t actually need to get up.  I did this until 4:32am when I realized, Oh S%$#! I do need to get up, I have to travel this morning!  I skipped the shower (I showered last night) woke Ben up and we booked it to the airport.

After a record breaking trip I managed to jinx us by saying “wow, that was fast!” and then the traffic hit.  I managed to get into the airport on time, I checked my bags and then got in line for the Premier security line.  I had to stand there and wait for about 10 men to go in front of me because no one would let me through.  I had the pleasure of watching as half of them got rejected from the special person line.  That’s what they get for being rude to a lady!

I looked to my left and reminded myself that…Oh! That’s the Corner Bakery that was robbed this weekend!

I then went through security and continued my weekly thoughts on why it takes men so long to to get through the line.  They aren’t supposed to be the prissy ones…I am (or at least my gender is).  Seriously, most men I see take 3 bins plus their carry on plus their computer case.  I take two and get through in about .3 seconds.  It’s quite funny to watch them with all their plastic bags and toiletries all while still trying to look manly.

Then I walked the 12 miles to the F Concourse…F12 to be exact…the farthest possible gate, which can only mean I will be on an itty bitty plane today.  I sit down next to a lady who is easily taking up three seats.  She turns to me and says, “What time is it?” Not, “Excuse me” or “Do you have the time” just a blunt “What time is it?”  I fish out my phone and tell her it is 6:07am and hear “Guhhhh, uh! almost there!”  What?  Then she says, ”Now I know why I never travel.”  Right lady, because YOU had to wake up early and YOU have to sit in an airport, you have it so much worse than the rest of us.  I wanted to tell her that she sounds like a fool for telling me that because she has to wake up early it is reason enough not to travel.  Have fun in podunk USA for the rest of your life.  Okay that was mean but it’s early.

Then she started rocking out to her pink Shuffle with matching pink ear phones.  She is also wearing pink pajamas and is probably close to 40.

Now I am on the itty bitty plane next to a not so itty bitty person.  At least it isn’t Mr. BO that was next to me in the boarding line.  Good thing it’s early and I am going to pass out.